The Bored and Dead Music Video Awards Should Not Be Televised

the Review By. The Lord Kempson Ari weYulu

@ZambiazHarshTag ● @KempsonAri

kalembaweyulu.wordpress.com

The organizers had an additional year to get it right, yet eight editions later, a school musical would have had a better stage, sound and lighting. For an indoor event, the acoustics were horrible. Call ZIRBO Zambia, they’ll sort out your stage and lighting as they successfully did for the Barefeet Festival. It’s a national event shown on the national broadcaster ZNBC; we cannot be cutting corners especially when people pay TV levies.  The lack of professionalism and importance attached to the event showed that and also the esteem they have for the Zambian music industry and the arts at large. I had difficulty in seeing the excellence in anything and saw the mediocrity in everything, the entire 4 hours of the Born n Bred 2014/15 was some beautiful nonsense with one or two sparks of artistry. Live television is not a dress rehearsal or sound check so please get with program.

From publicists to stylists, Zambian “celebrities” need invest in their image and pay professionals to get their act together. Do not look like a deer in front of headlights on the red carpet or your got dressed at your friends house, if you are nominated or presenting (key words are present, presentable) please look the part. Two weeks prior to the event, have three outfits on standby and practice in front of the mirror. 90% of the industry unfortunately cannot wing it, do not try to look smug or attempt to fake it on the red carpet or on stage for that matter. The sheer lack of charisma exhibited by some if not all the “stars” must be lamented. You could be Stedman for all we care, if you are not nominated or presenting do not speak on the red carpet or into the mic. Your friends and temporary forever’s will see you on TV, end of story. ¾ of the personalities I saw on the red carpet and on stage need to take note of that annoying Mika Gym ad that kept running every 10 minutes. Put the junk and fizz down and cut down on the nicotine and high starch liquor drink intake for those who partake. Wanna wear fitting cloths and show off curve and cleavage, exercise, eat right and tone down. Personal style is encouraged but get and pay a professional to deck you out.        

There’s a reason why almost 20 years later will still remember Whitney Huston’s rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, she went into the studio and got it right. The official opening which is the singing of the national anthem usually sets the tone for the event, that’s why Jamie Foxx belted the national anthem at the Mayweather vs Pac fight.  When asked to sing the national anthem at a national event, practice it and perform it on the day like Zambia just got its independence. Hold auditions as organizers if you need to, but save us all the embarrassment of desecrating the national anthem. Speaking of national issue, why wasn’t the mother and patron of the arts Mama Mulenga Kapwepwe (National Arts Council Chairperson) snubbed and not invited to the awards? We seem to have forgotten that not only is NAC an act of parliament, but also has the mandate to regulate, co-ordinate, supervise and monitor all arts activities in Zambia. Enough said, and now ladies and gentlemen, it was all a bad dream.

In addition to an entire extra year to get it right, the date got moved again which meant more rehearsal time but performances where still below par. It was a club banger, but the live off key and scattered performance of the hit She Aah Bomb left a lot to be desired and quite frankly so did most of the other opening acts and acts during the show. If you’ve are in the entertainment/music industry and billed to perform live, get it right with the band and bring your sound engineer along. The song sung live, should sound as it did in the studio. Refuse to perform if the appropriate standards cannot be met, it’s an insult to the fans and the audience when you can’t give the people a proper live show. Professionals the world over have their own mic, a DJ and sound engineer to ensure the band and singer are in sync and thus the performance is above par.

 

Unless its LL Cool J at the Grammy’s, Mc Lyte at the BET Awards, and our very own Chishala Chitoshi Jr. at any Zambian award show, game show hosts from when I was in the 8^th grade should not be allowed to host award shows. There’s so much young talent with the dexterity and articulation necessary to host the Born n Bred awards in a memorable manner. Short of looking like a ventriloquist dummy, the host lacked tact and was uninspired, adding to an already lagging event. Get a teleprompter, get fresh talent to host and give the show a new lease of life, throwbacks or a has-been won’t cut it. Ah yes, the voter registration mobilization advert made me not want to register and vote. Last I checked, there no polling stations at the swimming pool and people in the community do not wear suites to register or vote. The delivery and execution of that commercial was poor and did not explain anything to the people in the community.

And now back to the performances. There is a difference between performing at East Point or a show and performing on a stage on a national platform. The backup vocalists did a great job, but a lot of the acts on stage however did not deliver. The dance routines where scrappy, the audience was uninterested and did not sing along. As far as tributes go, make sure they live up to the person you are remembering. A prolific song writer and one of the best hook men in the business deserved a more befitting tribute. Being PJ’s brother does not give you a license to sing off key and remix a hit record by throwing in raps and whatever that else that was. Ba Joe Chibangu you’ve been in the game a long time, you should have known better and been on top of the situation guiding the kids and showing them how it’s done instead of that uncoordinated hot mess we saw. You could hear a pin drop however when what was the performance of the night came on and delivered music in its true essence. Armed with a guitar and accompanied by a traditional drum, Theresa delivered a poignant performance, with every piercing lyric clear as a bell. The performance was special. Applause to Jay Rox, good job on delivering a cohesive performance form which other acts should take notes. The Cypher was not televised *scratches head*, it would have broken the monotony of the dreary telecast. 

We do not know when the voting ended and by whom the results where verified, some of the results were sketchy and we will never know how credible the awards let alone outcome was. Things get awkward when the crowed screaming the title of the song that should have won Best Dancehall and Joanna didn’t win. Things get even more interesting when the Best Collaboration is a three people act and there are only two trophies. Do the maths properly, and in future (if there is one) have four trophies on standby it’s collaboration not a duet of best duo. Moving on to acceptance speeches folks, keep it brief and to the point. We don’t want to know why the recipient could not collect or your relation to them, say thank you on their behalf and apologies that they couldn’t be there and remove yourself from the stage. Let me make myself clear again, apart from the person receiving the award, significant others, neighbors, fans of fans should only be mentioned in the speech and not be allowed to even breath into the microphone. I don’t know what Twitter timeline the ZNBC tweep was looking at, clearly not the one the rest of us were looking at. Harsh tweets and Facebook posts is putting it mildly, Bored n Dead is not our first time at the rodeo.   

Same number, same city if you looking for me! Bye